In turn, this marks the tragedy of “Message in a Bottle.” When Ben Brantley compared “Mamma Mia” to a Twinkie, he also acknowledged that he happened to like Twinkies, and predicted that the show “may be the unlikeliest hit ever to win over cynical, sentiment-shy New Yorkers.” He was right. Sure, “Mamma Mia’s” means were silly, but so were its ends: The whole thing is a big joke. It’s also a good time.
“Message in a Bottle’s” ends, however, are not a joke. The refugee crisis is real: The stories of refugees are not to be laughed at.
Unfortunately, “Message in a Bottle’s” means remain, inadvertently, silly, and so what should be a compelling story of love, loss, hope, and despair is cheapened into a series of competition-style dance-offs stringed together so absurdly that it winds up, well, risible.
The three orphaned siblings each eventually find their way. One ends up among a group of costumed aliens in what we assume from the song “Englishman in New York” (the chorus goes “I’m an alien, I’m a legal alien”) must be somewhere in the US. Another ends up in what appears to be Jamaica, just in time for one of Sting’s reggae tunes. The third sibling, whose wife was kidnapped in the beginning, decides to go back home to rescue his beloved. He discovers she’s been forced into prostitution. You'll never guess her real name (it’s Roxanne).
In spite of its shortcomings, “Message in a Bottle” has been well-received by British audiences, and in New York, I witnessed a standing ovation. I do believe that Prince and Sting, along with their cast, had the best intentions for this production, and so, unlike some of the jukebox critics who came before me, I wish no harm unto any of “Message in a Bottle’s” contributors. Neither do I find that a metaphorical sweet can accurately encompass the show’s essence as I experienced it. I might, however, compare “Message in a Bottle” to a different kind of dish. In conclusion, I found the show to be like an Impossible Burger: wrapped in colorful packaging, full of jaunty slogans, and yet unable to overcome the fact that, ultimately, it has no meat.
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