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If You’re Hot Shit, Do You Even Need to Try?

Ambitious. That was the mot du jour at the Southbank Centre press night reception for “We Should Have Never Walked on the Moon.” This juggernaut collaboration between the Centre, British contemporary dance company Rambert, and the Ballet National de Marseille under the auspices of creative trio (La)Horde sees a cast of 50 perform various works across the multi-storey Royal Festival Hall and neighbouring Queen Elizabeth Hall. Ambitious is pretty apt. But an alliance of such artistic powerhouses with sponsorship from jewellery giant Van Cleef & Arpels should warrant stellar results. Right?

Performance

“We Should Have Never Walked on the Moon” by(La)Horde Ballet national de Marseille and Rambert

Place

Southbank Centre, London, UK, September 3, 2025

Words

Eoin Fenton

“The Master's Tools,” part of “We Should Have Never Walked on the Moon” by (La)Horde Ballet national de Marseille and Rambert. Photograph by Hugo Glendinning

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The concept is fun. Lucinda Child’s “Concerto” and Benoit Swan Pouffer’s “Us” are early highlights in the Queen Elizabeth Hall auditorium. People filter in and out as they wish and there’s a certain giddiness to be found in how casual it all is. The novelty is not to last, however. After being told there’s a twenty-minute wait until the next piece the bulk of us duly trudge through the single exit door at a glacial pace to see what else is on. Most of the spaces are packed now and it hasn’t even hit eight yet. Wriggling into a spot overlooking the Clore Ballroom I catch the end of (La)Horde’s “To Da Bone,” which sees a jolly group of jumpstyle dancers prance and kick to EDM bangers. 

Also in the ballroom is Cecilia Bengolea and François Chaignaud’s “Grime Ballet,” which has no actual grime music in it. It's an unserious number that blends pointe work with finger guns. Imagine a unitard-clad mum dancing at Notting Hill Carnival. “Lazarus,” Oona Doherty’s transcendent exploration of Irish masculinity, cleanses the space with her ghostly army of hard lads. 

The bulk of the work on display is by (La)Horde, performed by dancers from both Rambert and the Ballet national de Marseille. Out on the Riverside Terrace overlooking the Thames is the installation work “The Master's Tools.” A couple of performers climb and kiss a black limousine tagged with graffiti: ‘We the people.’ Skulking about are other performers who spray paint ‘tomorrow is cancelled’ onto the ground, only for it to be wiped away by more modelesque dancers driving street cleaners. Can you feel that? It’s profundity.

Dyan Tedaldi in “Weather is Sweet” by (La)Horde. Photograph by Hugo Glendinning

There’s some more musings on late-stage capitalism to be found in the Queen Elizabeth Hall foyer where dancers present smatterings of (La)Horde works familiar to London audiences: “Weather is Sweet,” “Room with a View,” and “Low Rider,” where two masked girlies in lime green Juicy Couture tracksuits arch their backs and spread their legs on a remote controlled hydraulic car. I’m more than happy to see so much gyrating in a high art context, but there is an eyeroll-inducing irksomeness about (La)Horde’s flashy stoicism, particularly when their work simply lacks depth. 

Dancers wander around like NPCs while attached to a wall of smartphones, they show ass cleavage in low-rise jeans, they graffiti vagueries onto the floor only for it to be wiped away, they hump each other like Chihuahuas. The collective’s interest is ‘the post-internet age of endless consumption,’ but it rarely gets explored in a meaningful way beyond implying that phones are bad and ass cleavage is hot—which it is. This obsession with the material lacks a human pull. Even genuinely interesting work like “Hop(e)storm,” which blends the Lindy hop with techno, is simply not enough to give some substance to all the style on show.

Audience members run about the place with maps in their hands as if navigating their way to the ride with the shortest wait time. If your favourite part of Disneyland is the orienteering, then “We Should Have Never Walked on the Moon” is the must-see hit of the season. It’s reminiscent of a festival too. Often you’re conscious of trying to make it to certain performances on time, or at least before it's impossible to get a good view. The novelty of roaming around wears off, and by the end of hour two out of three the attendance at most venues has dipped. 

“Hop(e)storm” by (La)Horde Ballet national de Marseille and Rambert. Photograph by Hugo Glendinning

The finale takes place back on the Thameside terrace. A swarm of dancers have locked lips with the limousine. They’re now joined by the jumpstylers. They dance in total silence, shouting and cheering while flicking their legs about. This was the finale we had been waiting for. The culmination of an international collaboration at London’s finest venue is a silent jumpstyle routine. A whimper in a retro shell jacket. 

In truth, (La)Horde has nothing to prove with this programme. They have already found great success in collaborations with chic fashion houses. They have won the adoration of celebrities and secured sponsorships from jewellers. Truly the solid gold Labubu of the dance world. Throughout “We Should Have Never Walked on the Moon, I toyed with a question like a can I was petulantly kicking down a path. In an art world that’s more fixated on buzz than ever: is it enough just to be cool? Perhaps more importantly: if you’re hot shit, do you even need to try? 

Eoin Fenton


Eoin (they/he) is a dance maker and writer based in Cork (Rep. of Ireland), and London (UK). They have danced across Ireland and London in venues including The Place, Project Arts Centre Dublin and Galway Cathedral. Eoin graduated with a BA in Choreography from Middlesex University in 2024 and began writing as part of the Resolution Reviews programme. They are a regular contributor to A Young(ish) Perspective. 

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